Every new death visits an old grave.
This is the solidarity of the dead. Every new bone buried in soil reminds the bones meeting with soil previously. In this way, the dead come together.
This solidarity of the dead hurts people who are still alive to their bones. In fact, this is a gift given to the ones who are alive as it opens your heart with power you cannot resist. While opening, one side of the cut bleeds while the other is tucked up with honey. It is called Grief.
It is true that while mentioning grief, sorrow is talked about. Sorrow is the sharp blood-dripping part of the knife with two different tastes in two ends Grief uses while opening your heart, but it doesn’t consist of this only.
To me, Grief is a character misunderstood and not completely comprehended. It is alive. I want to talk about Grief for the ones who have never met it or whose acquaintance is reduced to “sorrow” level due to unfortunate reasons as this is an activity that needs to be done even that is too late to do.
The word “grief” is derived from the word gravure in Latin meaning “grave”. The words “gravity” and “grave” come from the same root (gravure). I believe that the beginning point where I feel understood and where I feel you understand me could be this point. This gravity not only creates a deep sadness, but also changes the perspectives of the soul presenting a divine feeling of insight if passed through patiently and its friendship is accepted. Many grief owners’ outlook on art develops their appreciation of music; poetry and painting increases or the channel for the expression of their inner world opens as Grief stops you with its weight, slows you down, hurts your bones and opens your heart cutting. In this way, the hidden parts of your heart/consciousness/sub-consciousness spread in a way unknown to you up to that moment. Other ways for the flow of life becomes possible through you.
Despite the tendency for the interpretation of the things lived during the grief process as something to be interfered medically and/or psychologically in most societies called modern, there are also societies that perceive the concepts of insight, inspiration, time and sacred in a different way. In these societies, sleeplessness, moving away from people, less talking or loss of appetite could be regarded as doors to mental situations producing healing. Especially the need to stay alone with oneself and listening deeply to oneself are almost a prerequisite to gain spiritual power and become the recipient of the inspirations of the visible/invisible worlds.
While the conditions to attune to modern life depend on being rapid, performing multiple tasks at one time, and acting skilfully in time management and planning, the visit of Grief slows you down as it is impossible to listen deeply without slowing down.
When you slow down, if you let it, life flows in its purest condition from your broken heart. Like the taste of honey. It is called Gratitude. Like Grief, Gratitude is misunderstood. Gratitude practices in modern societies I have mentioned are automatic reflexes based on the fear of losing what we own. The real gratitude is feeling gratitude and appreciation of the flow of life- for better or worse- as it is, not only the things comforting us or the good things happening to us.
Grief and Gratitude are always together. There is Gratitude behind the veil of duly treated Grief.
For the ones who don’t slowdown, who don’t become companion with their grief or who don’t go into the depth of their hearts, every death they encounter afterwards come and visits the former deaths. After all is said and done, Grief is nothing but your dead ones’ protecting life.